I am now ethnic
I always sort of knew I was different when I moved here, not necessarily in terms of appearance, just when I opened my mouth. Nobody speaks Norwegian in the way an American does. Imagine going through life sounding like John Wayne. There are worse things - like Don Knotts.
Anyhow, my wife came home one day with a jar of Hellmanns mayonaise. "Where did you find this?", I asked. She said "In the ethnic foods department at the grocery department." Hellmans! Hellmans is ethnic! This makes me ethnic, because I have eaten it as a homeboy food my whole life. I guess there is hope for us all.